a good day ends up as a retarded day
the day started off with a good feeling.i started cramming for exams and yeah was talking to many people as usual to help them in their problems.which was going well as usual. and as well as talking to an old friend.someone who hated me. memories of him badmouthing me was painful, but we were talking again and it went pretty well. and i thought.ok todays a good day.
but it came crashing down.i heard the line "i hate you" three times today. all for different reasons. well the knife loves me O.o lol. i havnt taken to the knife yet.but it seems that its coming closer. well just an emo person rambling.
i think i have depression .swt
if signs of depression include eating more and sleeping and being antisocial etc or smth like that.. i think i have depression =.= /swt
theres only a tiny handbit of people helping me to cope with it unknowingly. and one special person who goes to lengths to make me happy :X
i want to thank that special person.
*learning how to cope ._.''*
what are friends?
Friends to most people mean that they'll always be there for you. If that is true, does it mean that my choices of friends are limited? Even as casual friends, I don't know. What then are friends when they and you reach the same boat and struggle together. Would they push you off the boat in order to save themselves? That would most likely happen. Unless your friendship is bonded so deeply, that one is able to sacrifice themself for the other.
"Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice. " Woodrow Wilson
If that what it is, does it mean that friends are just a figment of imagination for me? If friends sit down together, talking about how dumb they were when they were like e.g. taking an IQ test and comparing their IQ, knowing that someone who is beside them obviously has a lower IQ (simple meaning-dumb) If friends were like that, bagging their own friends. Then what exactly is friends.
If a friend is someone who can stay by you and accept you for who you are, what then is a best friend? Will there be no such thing as a best friend for me?
My experiences with friends
- Friends who push you off the boat to save themselves
- Friends who dump their joy and burdens on you and don't listen to your burdens
- Friends who calls you a bitch for trying to understand their situation
- Friends who only know how to bag(tease) you
- Friends who would dump you whenever a better sounding person comes by to talk to
In all honesty, I might have done those by accident too. But I do try and not do any of the things I have listed above. Friends mean the world to me, and if my loyalty for them is as huge as sacrificing myself, does that mean I have no friends because none of them have the principle of sacrifice for me.... Well, maybe I do, but they are out of reach for me to reach =.= /swt
